I had a terrible nightmare the other night. I woke with a start, breathless and sweaty with a pounding heart, horrified by what I had just seen in my dream. Wait for it… I was wearing black jeans with, errghhh, white socks and sneakers! I know, can you believe it? The horror! I would never! How could I dream such a horrendous thing? An outfit such as this would never, I repeat NEVER be worn by me. So why did I dream it?
Dreams are fascinating to me for so many reasons. The fact that our subconscious conjures up stories and images while we sleep peacefully (mostly) seems utterly amazing to me and that there should be hidden messages within these dreams? Even more incredible. I have had a number of dreams that have stood out in my mind over many years, ones that I can recall in a second and still see the visions come to life in my mind. These dreams have given me important messages that I have both listened to and also ignored, perhaps at my own peril.
One such dream occurred just after I was offered a full time position in a new company, one that I was so excited to be involved with. However I had my own business to run (Ciao Meow) and while I didn’t mind working as an independent contractor, I had sworn to myself never to be an employee again. Yet I felt torn as the position seemed so exciting with an enticing pay to go with it. Unable to make a decision, I dreamt I was working full time again and I HATED it with a passion! And the suffocating feeling of being trapped and smothered woke me in terror. Alas, I ignored the dream and took the position anyway. It was a disaster! Stressful does not even come close to describing my time there and devastatingly, friendships were lost. I feel terribly sad about this and often wonder if, had I listened to the important message in my dream, would it have all turned out differently? Hmmm.
Another pivotal vision that I will always remember was a dream I had a few months before meeting lovely J. In this dream, a tall dark handsome man (looking rather like Eric Bana) whom I knew I loved inextricably (as if you wouldn’t if he looked like Mr Bana!), proposed to me with a ring of Tigers Eye (this is a type of gem stone, one which I’ve never personally worn). When I looked at this man in my dream, I felt truly loved and I could see a beautiful family, which is exactly what I wanted for my future. When I woke I remember thinking how strange, why on earth would someone propose with a ring of Tigers Eye? It didn’t make sense. A few months later, I met tall dark handsome J and we became instant friends. One night when we were out together, I noticed he had a necklace on (not normally my style!)… as I took a closer look I noticed it was a gemstone. I honestly felt my heart stop beating as I asked him if that was Tigers Eye. His answer of course, was yes. This time I listened to my dream!
So what about this recent dream with my hideous fashion faux pas? Well I think there are 2 messages – firstly a reflection of how stuck my wardrobe is right now (c’mon, you know important this is to me!). I love clothes, always have, yet at present I have to admit to feeling very stagnant and out of touch with my beloved world of fashion. I wear jeans and Tee’s with connies pretty much every day (though since the dream I have been parading round in a cute pair of leopard print ballet flats to rid my mind of the sneakers-with-white-socks vision!). It’s a fashion conundrum that I have been fighting with for nearly a year now (since becoming a mum) and one that I have not yet resolved.
Which brings me to the second, probably more important message – that it has been nearly a year now and the stirrings of creativity have become stronger and stronger over the last few months. They are screaming to be let out because they have essentially spent nearly 12 months on the shelf while I first adjusted then embraced my new role as mum, which is a role focused almost entirely on nurturing others and the essentials of every day living and caring for family. It doesn’t leave much time for personal creative time! Actually sleep deprivation pretty much robs you of all desire and ability to be creative anyway, so there was really no point in worrying about it until I felt half human again. Which I am pleased to say that I do! Feel human again, that is. So while I am thoroughly enjoying my creative time blogging, I am feeling the need to amp it up a notch. If I don’t listen to my dream, I may very well find myself shopping for socks and sneakers! So stay tuned, I’ll keep you posted, as I shall be listening to the message this time – I have learnt my lesson on that front!