Where have I been? Trying to sleep, that's where!

The universe sure knows how to show you some perspective in life. Little Lily had just passed the 6 month mark when she started waking 2-3 times a night again (that’s up from either sleeping through or waking once a night, which I had become very comfortable with thank you very much!). “What is going on?” I asked her numerous times – she'd just look at me with those big eyes and impish grin. I figured it was just a growth spurt and that was fine, I knew it wouldn’t last. But once we passed 2 months of this, I was seriously cranky and tired. Or so I thought…

Then the poor little cherub got a cold – nothing too major, just your average cold with runny nose, congestion, coughing and generally feeling a tad miserable. This is when 'tired' was redefined for me! Holy cow, poor little miss started waking CONSTANTLY throughout the night and I mean CONSTANTLY. I’d put her down, 10 minutes later, she’d be up again coughing and spluttering and this was repeated over and over again. Poor darling, I felt so sorry for her but the sleep, or lack there of, was doing my head in. We ended up sleeping semi reclined together for about a week and then back to her cot for the second week, though the waking constantly continued. Finally we are back to waking 2-3 times a night, which is now fine by me!

Perspective is a funny thing - what felt challenging before, now feels like a holiday after my dose of sleep deprivation. What I discovered is that sleep deprivation really is a form of torture! Derr, how many times have I heard that and not really understood the full meaning? The Nicky I know simply disappeared and in her place appeared a hollow-eyed ghost with a serious temper. It’s not that I was cranky at Lilybelle, it’s just that there was no buffer anymore – that buffer that allows you to bounce back easily, smile with endless patience (mostly :), maintains your good humour and keeps you on the good side of optimism – it just disappeared about 3 nights in. Suddenly I was walking around like a zombie, feeling over emotional, accident prone, unable to finish sentences, losing my train of thought and feeling like a big stinky bear with a really sore head! Not fun for anyone, as my dear partner will confirm.

So what have I learnt from this experience? Well, apart from hiring a humidifier next time (hot tip from other mums who have been through this – thanks Kel and Jodes), I have learnt to just bloody appreciate what I have right here and right now!  Because nothing ever stays the same and life can change in an instant – for better OR worse. And those tough times sure make me appreciate what I have and how blessed I am.  And the universe will ALWAYS find a way to remind me of this.

 Well into my hollow-eyed zombiedom!