A trip down memory lane...

I went to Brisbane on the weekend and visited my old suburb of Paddington. Oh my love, how I’ve missed you. The intoxicating smell of freshly ground coffee wafting from café’s, the lure of the tiny boutiques selling everything I must have, the voyeurism of people watching and the excitement of the new – new boutiques, new antique store (LOVE IT!), new cafés – there’s always something new and fabulous. And oh how I enjoyed my life there – weekends were simply mine, all mine to enjoy!!! Waking up late, meandering down to my favourite café’s for latte’s and croissants (my naughty addiction) with a delicious bout of shopping on the return trip home followed by lazily reading my favourite fashion mags in the afternoon. Night time often brought walks up to the Barracks for a movie and a bite to eat or dinner with friends round the corner.

 Lazing about at our old house in Paddo

So I was thoroughly excited to be heading back to re-visit my old stomping ground and catch up with old friends – it was all planned out (not by me of course, being the non-planner!) with friends booked in, shop-openings to attend and coffees to be lingered over and enjoyed. Yipppeee! But alas life with a baby never goes to plan (see this is why I’m a non-planner – what’s the point???) and after a sleepless night on Friday night I realize Lilybelle is coming down with something. After that, nothing goes right.

I won’t bore you with the details, let’s just say my longed for weekend away was a nightmare. Not all was lost – I did get to catch up with friends, though briefly, including my old friend Paddington and it made me miss a life now gone.  Don’t get me wrong, I adore being a mum and I LOVE my precious baby girl – however I would by lying if I didn’t admit to wishing for some more time of my own and just occasionally being responsible only for myself. Oh and double income – when I could spend whatever I liked on whatever I wanted! Suppressing my shopping instinct (yes, it’s an instinct and part of who I am, I swear it!!!!) is just unnatural.

So by the time we left Sunday afternoon, I was feeling rather low – missing my friends and my old life on top of no sleep, a sick bub and a sick dad (that’s another story entirely) – and even questioning whether our move to the coast was the right one. Finally, with gritty eyes blearily fighting to stay open, we turn off at our exit and drive the last leg home. That’s when I notice the trees, the green spaces that you just don’t get in the city, the lack of traffic, the salt in the air and then the ocean, glittering blue and endless. And I realise, we did make the right decision – this is where our life is now, together, with our daughter, by the beach. And I’m happy again.

A family picnic - how relaxing, right?

Ahhh, the sun is shining, the breeze is gently rustling the leaves and the water’s edge beckons… it’s the perfect day for a picnic. And what’s more relaxing then spending the day by the river with your partner, baby and dog?  Well, let me share…

It’s more in the getting to the picnic that I’d like to share here… just a little glimpse into my Sunday. It’s beautiful out and J has the day off, so we decide it’s time to get out in that sunshine and go for some fish and chips. Cool, let’s get organised – first, bubba. We have a small window of time between Lily waking from her nap and the time for her next nap, about 3 hours, so time is of the essence here people!

Man, how much crap can you really need for one child, I ask you? And don’t get me started on all the things one must do before stepping out the door! Let me give you the brief version – breastfeed bub (she’s just getting her first 2 teeth and I am a tad nervous), change nappy, choose outfit (she is very picky), get dressed, put shoes on (this job alone needs at least half an hour), give something to munch on to entertain whilst mum and dad run madly around the house getting ready.

Then there is the packing of the nappy bag – nappies, wipes, hat, sunscreen – damn, where the hell is the sunscreen??? Did you have it? Ooops, don’t worry, here it is! – toys, vom-rag.  Done. Shit, don’t forget food! Ok, riffling through fridge, what can we feed bub? An assortment of fruit, organic baby food, bubba biscuits and water bottle are jammed into the food bag. Done. Who forgot the frickin bib???

Packing the car – shit, why is only one set of keys working?? Go outside to check second set, Henry (the dog) gets over-excited at the sound of keys rattling and gets his leg caught up in the outdoor bench to horrific howling. I rush over to unhook his leg only to get peed on. Shit! No, I mean piss! Yes, you heard me, piss. And not just on me, on the keys too (you know you’re not meant to get them wet right? Eww.) Gross, more time wasted on me having to remove dog spraying.

Ok, back to packing the car – pram, nappy bag, picnic rugs, camera, my bag, J’s man-bag, food bag, baby, dog. Done.  I go to lock the house and can’t find the keys. Damn it!!!!! Who had them last? Crap, I did – last time I saw them was just before the dog peeing incident. I spend 10 minutes retracing my steps through the house, under the papers, on the table, in the kitchen, CRAAAAPPP! Ok, back outside again to the scene of the crime – aha! I must have flung them in the air in shock when the pee hit me. Found them in the grass.

Finally, lock the door, get in the car, cranky and looking at the time – yes it took us an hour to get ready. Damn it, we are one hour down on our 3 hour time window and both shitty (well I’m more pissy actually). As we look at each other in irritation, we finally crack up and laugh. Jeezus. Luckily the day remained perfect, the fish and chips were delicious, the gelati even more so and Henry & Lilybelle loved their frolic by the river. Another glorious day with the fam!

 Lily & the pee culprit by the river

Doing things your own way

So I recently became engaged… yes, I know, very exciting :o) Now that the initial excitement has worn off, I have come to realize that perhaps there is a good reason why there is a traditional order of sequence to these kind of things. You know, you meet, you date, he pops the question, you get married and then along come the babies.  Being non-traditionalists, we of course had to buck the system – meet, move in, have a baby, get engaged and at some stage in the future, get married. Doing things a little differently is all well and good, however becoming a parent, whilst a truly wonderful experience, does comes with its fair share of challenges, particularly on your relationship. Not because you love each other any less, but because you’re suddenly tired all the time, you’re both learning how to look after and raise a baby together and two sets of family values come into play. Gritting your teeth can quickly become a daily jaw exercise.

This does not always make for a peaceful household (I say that with love in my heart sweetie :o), which is why I believe following the order (as listed above) may well be somewhat easier, mostly because you’ve not yet seen each other at your worst - aka tired zombie crankerton who occasionally has hysterical outbursts “who left - the washing in the machine/the milk out/the dishes in the sink” – feel free to insert your own words here! AND before bubs come along you have all the time in the world for romance because it’s still all about the two of you. Life does not yet revolve around a third person, which can make it extremely difficult to find time for just the two of you, let alone get romantic.

I take it as a testament to our solid relationship and deep love for each other that in the middle of this new parent craziness, my partner decided he wanted to marry me, and I him.  Of course there are moments when I’m sure we both think jeezus, what am I getting myself into, however I love the fact that in doing things the non-traditional way, we have also discovered the strength of our love for each other. We also have the most delightful symbol of our love – a daughter, who makes us laugh and look at each other in absolute wonder – wonder in that as a couple, we had a part in creating such an amazing little person. Wow, here's to doing things your own way.

 Awww, my happy family